despite the lack of sleep and constant shit that keeps heading my way. I’m fucking taking steps to do what I want and to be who I want to be.
I’m growing up. And even though I’m the youngest sibling, I feel like the oldest. It should be terrifying that everything is so uncertain, but when you sit and think about it, what is really the worst that could happen?
Everything is crazy, but everything is going to be okay.
I might get a puppy this summer. But there isn’t a complete day that goes by where someone doesn’t tell me that I’m fucking crazy for doing so. Its like they don’t think I’ve thought it through. It’s not just like some fucking puppy who I think is adorable (EVENTHOUGHSHEISOMG)
Why I should:
a) I have a very close attachment to this puppy. Why? Because she is my dog’s puppy. AND my sister’s dog’s puppy. If you didn’t know, I treat my dog like he is my son. Hell, I like him more than I do most people (look at earlier blog post). This puppy is like family to me. I will love her and treat her like a child (or grandchild?) and will do by best to give her the best life she can have.
b) (And this is definitely a secondary reason) I feel that having this puppy will give me reason to be more grounded. This puppy (who is essentially like a child in the house) will help me get things in order. Maybe it will give me reason to keep things cleaner in the house. Maybe it’ll give me reason not to go out and get fucked up all the time. Does anybody else feel this way? I mean I love going out and getting fucked up with friends but sometimes I feel like we’re just not doing anything with our lives and I don’t know if I want to be doing that as much as I have. And thats nothing against my friends that do, I just don’t know if I want to so fucking often anymore.
This puppy will teach me about responsibility.
c) This puppy will be a companion and will keep me happy. She will be someone who is always there for me and who I will make time to be there for her as much as possible (excluding work and other obligations).
Why I shouldn’t:
a) This is a lot of work. HOLY SHIT this is a lot of work. I going to have to raise a puppy. I’m going to have to train a puppy with regards to all sorts of things. I’m going to potty train her, train her to be independent (no separation anxiety), and make sure that she’s safe all the time and doesn’t let her puppy curiosity get the best of her.
b) I need a full time job this summer. And that will mean that I will be out of the house for a good chunk of the day and wouldn’t be able to watch her to keep her safe. I’m pretty sure I could do a good job puppy proofing a part of the house and get some puppy fences, but it still worries me. Also, I feel guilty asking someone to help watch my puppy all the time. So I need to figure out something until she is old enough to be on her own. My only other option would be to move down to San Diego for the summer to work and spend time with her there and I REALLY don’t want to do that, but maybe thats what it’ll take.
c) No matter what, I’m probably going to have an interesting life within the next half decade or so. Meaning, I’m a kid just out of college who does not have a set career in motion. I will be moving from place to place probably yearly and will have to work full time and make time for my dog. I’d like to be a musician and this means that we’re I ever to go on even the tiniest tour, this means I’d probably have to take this dog with me. Worried about how she would handle moving from place to place all the time.
Rebuttle: Life’s not gonna get simpler any time soon with regards to taking care of a puppy and I would rather take a puppy who I’m attached to instead of waiting a couple years and feeling a lot of regret.